PITSTOP # 4: fast | foods @ woods, part 2

SLOW und fast FOOD ::: PicNics @ Route 66, part 2: what we skipped

The top- cliché of SCHOENER REISEN (or the would- be ‘Connoisseur Traveling’ ) tells U to DIG IN where U stand. Will meinen: Friss’ dich durch das Land deiner Exkursion und du wirst dieses nicht nur mit der Seele suchen, sondern auch leiblich begreifen. Es sind die Siebeck- Leser der selbst- und so- genannt gehobenen Lebensart, die das sagen; eben Jene, welche in den (sinniger Weise stets neben der Gourmet- Seite platzierten) Kontaktanzeigen in bemerkenswert origineller Stereotypie die eiserne Lebensregel des CARPE DIEM fuer sich in Anspruch nehmen. -

Wir gestatten uns, diese tristes tropiques der (horribile dictu) Lebensqualitaet bzw. des Reise- Tiefsinns etwas pragmatischer zu nehmen: Reisen als surround- experience for body, perception and soul means a great deal of exposure to unknown, uncertain and uncomfortable situations. Hunger aswell as skuzzy food may put you ultimately over the edge. Merke: Ein gekraenkter venter non studet libenter, just eben On The Road. Folge und Conclusio: Wir halten uns ganze drei Wochen von jeglichem Restaurantbesuch fern, dadurch a.) Kosten, b.) Zeit (Waiting to be seated) und c.) Uebelkeitsfaktoren reduzierend. Ad c.) vgl. doch bitte noch einmal Anthony Bourdain’s hilarious Confessions of A Chef (i. e. on the topic of “brunch / lunch / dinner specials”, Brrr !). Same author, same subject, played in the mood of crime fiction: A Bone in the Throat . Grrr !

Wer meint, ueber die in old Europe angesiedelten Fast- Food- Ketten le degôut Americain hinlaenglich auf der Zunge und in der Nase zu tragen, irrt. Dies duerfen wir als neutrale wie neugierige Beobachter sagen: Es geht immer noch schlimmer und selbst bei den Chain- FF- Restos variiert die Interpretation der staple dishes und ihrer Einrichtung gewaltig. Was wir getreulich (und mit Hilfe der poins of interest @ GPS) quer durch das Land in etwa 30 SBUX- outlets on the matter of coffee exekutieren (nicht zuletzt wg. des WLAN- Bonus, mit Ausnahme von Las Vegas), duerfte fuer saemtliche Produkte und Standorte der Franchise- und Ketten- Gastronomie gelten.

( Vienna Beef Hot Dogs & Burgers, Chicago, IL )

Withstanding the infantile urge to put the objects of interest (= all those burgers, tacos, slushes, custards, donuts etc.) in the mouth, we indulge in no less oral- oriented treat to note and remind the wordings, names and slogans of mostly all Restos sitting alongside of 66 + Interstate. Und voilà eine erquickende Liste angewandt sprachlichen Irrwitzes: Names of restos, drinks and dishes galore, saemtlich in irgendeinem Superlativ gehalten, oft mit fast Wagnerianischem Hang zur Alliteration. Geordnet nach Angebotsgruppen, manchmal in der Reihenfolge ihres Auftretens, mitunter mit ein paar Fakten garniert: Proudly presenting the complete list of driven- by food- spots (and rots) between Chicago, IL and Los Angeles, CA … 2 B read as a piece of socio- linguistic research.

Die BBQs und Steakhouses scheinen als solche noch am wenigsten auf Ketten gereiht: sure, many family restos & FF- chains do serve those heaps of meat, but there still is a big variety of small business and individual entrepreneurship, living on neighbourhood- credibility. Ponderosa Steakhouse (MO) – - – Cattleman’s Steakhouse (MO) – - – America Bison Grill (MO) – - – Harley- Inn @ Devil’s Elbow (MO) – - – Humble Inn (MO) – - – Big R’s BBQ – - – Hackett Hot Wings – - – Lumpy’s BBQ – - – Poochie’s Rib Pit – - – Red Hot and Blue (BBQ) – - – Sultan of Smoke (BBQ) – - – The Rib Crib (chain BBQ) – - – Woody’s Smokehouse (BBQ) – - – Western BBQ (Amarillo, TX) – - – Big Texan Steak Ranch (Amarillo, TX) und last, but not least, the matter- of- fact nameless Steakhouse @ Kingman, AZ .

( Kingman, AZ, Route 66, Steakhouse + Harley )

BURGER ::: McDonald’s urbi & orbi, special offers (@ Carthage, MO: hiring day shift), oft neben – - – Wendy’s (@ Carthage, MO: hiring smiling faces) und / oder der ex aequo zweitgereihten Kette – - – Arby’s (11.220 restos in 61 countries, with Wendy’s second main chain after MD, 340.000 employes ww) – - – Carl’s JR, Gallup, NM (Teriyaki- Burger, Slogan: IT’s NOT A MIRAGE, Six Dollar Burger = Hardee’s) + Hardee’s Charboilded Burger::: Weird Website : Go for the show of Thickburgers ! (Menue: Patty Melt Thickburger, Angus Beef Thickburger, Buffalo Chicken Sandwitch, Fish Supreme, Big Twin, 1/3 lb. Mushroom N’Swiss Thickburger, 1/3 lb. Bacon N’Chesse Thickburger, 1/3 lb. Low Carb Thickburger, 1/2 lb. Six Dollar Burger, 1/2 lb. Grilled Sourdough Thickburger, 2/3 lb. Double Thickburger) – - - dubious Checkers – - – Culver’s Butterburger (MO and WB, Nutrition facts 39 % carbs, 39 % fats, 22 % Protein, cal. 346, cal from fat 135, dietary fibre 4 % etc.) – - – Babe’s: Home of the Chubby Cheese Express, Joplin, MO – - – Mr. Goodcents – - – Backyard Burgers – - – Sonic Drive-In (founded 1953 @ Shawnee, OK. Slogan: “America’s Drive-in! It’s not just good. It’s Sonic good” bzw. “Sonic’s got it, other’s don’t“. Continue reading at the end of this post.*) – - – Whataburger (Slogan: “Just like you like it ” – 100% American Beef, since 1950 @ OK, TX, NM) – - – Blake’s Lotaburger (genuine New Mexico Chain. Slogan: “If you are what you eat – you are awesome“, Certified Angus Beef, @ Route 66 along Rio Grande) – - – Bob’s Burgers (NM) – - – Vienna Beef, Chicago, IL (photo) – - – Chicago Beef (in NM geht das heute noch: Reminiszenz an die Old Chicago meat industry @ Stockyards > C Upton Sinclair: The Jungle , 1906 (@ old- school- Gutenberg) > Brecht: Die heilige Johanna der Schlachthoefe, 1929 > Kurt Vonnegut: Slaughterhouse Five, 1969) – - – Bun Boy @ Baker, CA – - – Jack in the Box (JBX, founded 1951 @ San Diego, everywhere in CA, 2.100 restaurants @ US, Ultimate Cheeseburger etc.) – - – Wendy’s: everywhere. 3rd FF chain ww, infamous 4 square hamburgers dimensioned as Junior (1/8 pound), Classic Single (1/4 pound), Big Bacon Classic (1/4 pound), Classic Double (1/2 pound), and as a Classic Triple (3/4 pound). Slogan: “At Wendy’s®, we’re unrivaled in our passion for giving people what they want — and uncompromising in giving people what they deserve“. (Continue reading at the end of this post.**) – - – 2 Read / 2 watch : Eric Schlosser’s NYT- bestselling FAST FOOD NATION : The Dark Side of the All-American Meal (2001) + Film by Richard Linklater (2006 > C interview @ Mother Jones ) + Anti- Fast- Food- Nation- Site BEST FOOD NATION accusing “Anti-restaurant activist Eric Schlosser” of making “a living promoting misinformation and misrepresentation” of US- Food (sponsored by … Continue reading at the end of this post.***)

( Schlotzsky’s Deli, Route 66, Albuquerque, NM )

SANDWICHES ::: Schlotzsky’s Deli – - – Subway – - – Fat & Happy – - – Blimpie’s Subs & Salads – - – Shout & Sack Deli (Vinita, OK) – - – MEX ::: Taco- Bell – - – Taco Bueno – - – El Chico – - – Chilie’s – - – Del Taco (Flagstaff, AZ) – - – Salsa Brava (Flagstaff, AZ) – - – CHICS ::: 1952- founded (by Colonel Harland Sanders, 1890-1980, portrayed still @ logo of the chain) Kentucky Fried Chicken / KFC (“Kentucky Fried Coronary” … heart disease …), cost 2 coast, often with Dairy Queen or Pizza Hut, worst case smell @ Baker, CA – - – Chick-fil-A – - Charlie’s Chicken Happy House (Vinita, OK) – - – Chuck’s Chicken (Amarillo, TX + some places NM) – - – Chicken Licken. No kidding !

FAMILY ::: Applebee’s (Neighbourhood Favorites and Weight Watcher’s Dish, z.b. @ Ford City, Chicago. Bombs on Applebee’s + Terror >>> Freakonomics to follow @ NYT) – - – Denny’s (more frequent WB than east, approx. 1.600 restos @ US, 27.000 employees. Worst case outlet @ Baker, CA, quite decent @ Santa Rosa, NM past Tucumcari, NM – - – Country Kitchen (MO, Slogan # 1: “Come Home to the Good Stuff “, Kids’ Specials, Slogan # 2: “Country Kitchen is where our guests feel like they are coming home, the food is always fresh, the smiles strech a country mile, and breakfast can be any time of the day.”)

SWEET ::: Dairy Queen (often wth KFC, mostly known 4 its ice cream, founded 1938 @ Kankakee, IL, 2day 5.700 franchise restos ww, gemeinsam, statt einsam: “Cheeseburger Lovers Unite! Announcing 2 for $2.22 single cheeseburgers or 2 for $3.33 double cheeseburgers“. – Big Sweet Treat: Oreo®* Blizzard® Treat, Need We Say More? > C Wikipedia 4 Trivia: “A large Cookie Dough Blizzard has the highest calorie count of any single DQ item, at 1.320 calories.” Szene: Deutlich verwirrter Senior Citizen @ Baker, CA im Nahkampf mit Schnellschmelz- ice- cream.) – - – Dunkin’ Donuts ( Nutrition Facts and Calorie Information , z. b. Caffe Latte, 120 cal., Sodium, Vitamin A, Vitamin C, Calcium, Fibres … )

DIVERSE ::: Ruby Tuesday (Springfield, MO) – - – Aussies Jack (Springfield, MO) – - – Cosmic Fish (Slogan: “Cool Food, Cool Stuff“, Springfield, MO) – - – Kum & Go – - – The Thai – - – Romantic Delights (xx) – - – Hooter’s (x) – - – The Little Brick Inn (KS) – - – Pizza Hut – - – Hidaway (OK) – - – SBUX all over the places (no : NOT in the deep midwest, no WLAN @ Las Vegas) – - – Kathy’s Eatz-n-Treatz (Belen, NM) – - – The Crown Railroad Café (Flagstaff, AZ) – - – [Grand Canyon] Caverns Inn + Giant Alert- Dino (AZ) – - – ABC Chinese (Kingman, AZ) – - – Mad Greek & Los Dos Torritos, Bun Boy, Dairy Queen, Denny’s @ Baker, CA – - – JBX @ CA – - – famous 4 ugly pies and as geographical midpoint of Route 66 : Midpoint Café (Adrian, TX).

Midpoint Café (Adrian, TX)

Quite a bit of field- work. Isn’t it ? – U should at least count (on) & study what U skip …

* * *

* Sonic, cont’d : kap & czz actually never made it to explore one of these places and how they work. Immerhin 3.200 drive- ins in the US + Mexico. Driving by U see the huge open- air menues (english + spanish), retro- design 50s / 60s. Sonic is reported 2 B famous 4 it’s cones, Cookie Dough Blast, Spicy SW Super Sonic [- Burger], Breakfast Combos, Slushes etc. Website offers a Nutritional Guide, ect. Business Outline, QUOTE ::: “SONIC, which specializes in made-to-order fast food, is known for its specialty menu items and personal service. Unique drink combinations make SONIC Unique menu items include TOASTER® Sandwiches (sandwiches served on thick Texas Toast), Extra-Long Cheese Coneys (hot dogs with chili and cheese), fresh-made Onion Rings, Tater Tots and a variety of Frozen Favorites Drinks® Treats and Fountain Favorites® Drinks. You can order more than 168.000 drink combinations making SONIC Your Ultimate Drink Stop! SM SONIC’s ever-growing menu is full of options to satisfy every taste, with frequent additions such as Fresh Fruit Smoothies.” UNQUOTE. What a tall- tale !

** Wendy’s, cont’d : New Campaign “Always fresh, never frozen – that’s right .” – Nutr. facts (> “healthy choices ” …) , THE WENDY STORY , 7.000 employees, 350 to 450 off the Massachusetts franchise- payroll & with many claims still open, July 2007, WEN per share data 2007 .

*** Sponsors of the campaign / forum BEST FOOD NATION cont’d (for the sake of the poetic and cheerful aspects of the Art of Catalogue, Short- and Longlist) , QUOTE ::: “American Farm Bureau Federation, American Meat Institute, Cattlemen’s Beef Board, Corn Refiners Association, Food Products Association, International Franchise Association, National Cattlemen’s Beef Association, National Chicken Council [!], National Council of Chain Restaurants, National Milk Producers Federation, National Pork Board [!], National Pork Producers Council, National Potato Council, National Restaurant Association, National Retail Federation, National Turkey Federation [!], Produce Marketing Association, Snack Food Association, U.S. Potato Board [!] & United Egg Producers.” UNQUOTE.

**** updates , aug 18. , aug. 21 : MCD.NYS is headed to SUPERoutSIZE itself and grabs 4 the EU . bon appetit .